The Power of Love

In a previous post I spoke of John's assertion in 1 John 4:18 that "perfect love casteth out fear."  I used to believe that this meant that love and fear could not coexist - that love somehow eradicated all fear.  What I am coming to understand, and what I have tried to convey in my posts about fear, is that love does not eliminate fear, but rather overpowers it.  This was true in the case of Esther, whose love for her people outweighed the fear that she felt as she went before the king.  This was true for me when I zip lined from a 50' tower into the dark unknown because I refused to let my fear diminish the experience of the young women I was leading.

This understanding came in handy recently as I was encouraging my 10 year old daughter to ice skate.  The first time I took her ice skating, on New Year’s Eve of 2011, I had to bribe her to get her to even step out onto the ice.  I enlisted the help of family members, who are good skaters, to skate with her, and promised her that if she went around the rink just one time, I would buy her some Dippin’ Dots. 

What I have failed to mention, though, is that the reason I had to enlist the help of family members is because I too was terrified to get on the ice.  In fact, I can’t remember a time in my adult life when I have gone onto the ice without clinging for dear life to the wall.  Until recently, I always used the excuse that the skates were killing my feet (which was true) and went and sat on the sidelines and observed.  I must admit that I felt like a hypocrite as I coaxed my daughter onto the ice when I was too scared to do it myself.

A couple of months ago my daughter decided that she wanted to take ice skating lessons.  I signed her up for a 3-week session, willing to let her try, but believing her interest would be short lived.  At her first lesson she was terrified, as I expected, and wouldn’t leave the safety of the wall. 

As I dropped her off at school the day of her 2^nd lesson, I said, “Okay, Becca, you have your ice skating lesson this afternoon.  I want you to work on building up your courage today so that when you get there you can get away from the wall.”  And much to my surprise, it worked!  At her lesson that day, she moved away from the wall and for 30 minutes hesitantly scooted her skates along the ice.  I was impressed!

She was so excited and could hardly wait to show her dad what she had accomplished.  We decided that we would go to an open skate session the following Saturday so that she could show off her skills.  But when we got there, the fear returned, and she stood on the ice immobilized and nearly in tears.  Even making her way back to the safety of the wall was more than she could bear.

 

Suddenly I knew what I had to do.  I could no longer sport my ice skates in the spectators seats.  I carefully, fearfully made my way onto the ice and said, “Becca I know you’re scared.  Trust me.  I am scared of ice skating too.  But I know we can do it.  We just have to be brave.  Next thing I knew, Becca and I were both scooting around the rink on our skates, equally determined to not let fear keep us from doing something we wanted to do.

We have been ice skating several times since then, and our ice scooting is starting to more and more resemble ice skating.  My son, Isak, who typically is not easy to impress, encourages us and praises us for our improvement.  He will skate up behind me and say, “Wow, mom!  You’re getting really good!” as more proficient skaters gracefully swoop by.

Ice skating has become a universally enjoyed family activity.  And while I am far from performing spins and leaps, and I still experience mini heart attacks when I feel my footing start to slip, I find that I grow increasingly confident on the ice.  As I reveled in my new found grace on the ice one day, I thought, “Wow!  I wonder why I was suddenly able to overcome a fear that I have had for so long?”  And then I realized, it was because of my love for my daughter.  I didn’t want her to be crippled by fear, and so to offer her the support and guidance she needed, I chose to "cast out" my own fear.

 

If you have a fear that is keeping you from being your best self and from being a blessing in the lives of others, I want you to know that you can overcome that fear.  And by overcome I do not mean that you will suddenly not feel the fear anymore, but that you can act in spite of it.  Whether your motivation is love for God, love for another person or persons, or love for yourself, that love absolutely can overpower any fear that you have - not eliminate it, but overpower it. 

 

I would like to extend a challenge.  The next time that you recognize that fear is keeping you from being your best self or doing something that could benefit another person, face that fear and do it anyway.  If you accept this challenge, I would love to hear about your experiences.  What is your fear?  Were you able to overcome it or are you still struggling with it?  If you have overcome it, how do you feel? I reiterate, overcoming fear does not necessarily mean that you no longer feel fear, but that you can act in spite of it!