Overcoming Fear for the Benefit of Others

It is my belief that fear is an inward focusd emotion. We all have fears, but when we allow our fears to dictate our actions (or lack of actions), we choose selfishly. I have always loved the story of Esther in the Old Testament (see Esther 1-10). Esther was a heroine in every sense of the word. She was beautiful, gracious, obedient, beloved by all. And yet she feared. When it was revealed to her that the Jews in Persia had been sentenced to death by Haman, her cousin, Mordecai, encourageed her to exercise her position as queen and seek the king's help. This may seem reasonable, but as we read in the story, the queen was not in a position to go before the king without being summoned. To go before the king without permission meant death, even for the queen, except for in rare situations where the king would hold out his golden sceptre and allow his unsolicited visitor to proceed. Esther knew that if she went before the king, she would likely die. She expressed her concerns to her cousin, Mordecai. Mordecai responded with this, "For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and delivereance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" As I read this passage recently, I was moved by a simple truth expressed here. Esther had a choice. She could risk her life by going before the king without being summoned, or she could quietly go about her business. If she didn't go to the king, the Jews, her people, would be destroyed. As she had not revealed herself as a Jew to the king, was it possible that she would be spared? Esther could have used her fear as an excuse to shrug off repsonsiblity for the Jews in Persia and could have tried to conceal her heritage in an act of self preservation. Instead, Esther called upon the Jews to fast with her that she might have strength and courage sufficient to carry out her frightening task, she went before the king, and she revealed herself as a Jew and sought the king's help. What acts of courage! Esther feared more for the lives of her people than her own. Her choice was based on outward focus - concern for others over concern for self. Although my acts of courage are not as dramatic as Esther's, I have had experiences when I had to choose between using fear as an excuse and exercising great faith and courage for the sake of others. I will share my experiences in a future post, but until then, I invite you to share your experiences. Have there been times when you have set aside your fears for the benefit of others? What gave you the strength to set those fears aside? How did you feel afterward?

My Goal

Over the past few months I have been thinking about taking on a writing project. I enjoy writing. However, like most people, I find that there is more that I want to do than I realistically have time for. So in spite of my interest in writing,I simply do not take the time to sit and write. Instead, I compose in my head as I go about my daily chores - a cute little anecdote creatively told as I wash the dishes, an insight thought out as I drive to the store, ideas on a variety of subjects explored as I fold laundry. On rare occasions I am able to actually put my thoughts in black and white - in a well-worded email, or in a lesson for church - but most of the time my creative expressions never leave my head. As I considered my New Years resolutions for 2013, I decided that I should commit to a writing project, devoting a set number of hours to it each week. My intentions were thwarted, though, by the pull of my various responsibilities, my perfectionism which kept me from wanting to start a project until I knew exactly how I wanted to go about it, and my sheer lack of motivation to do anything in my spare time other than play games on my iPhone or watch TV. Yet the seed had been planted, and part of me could not let go of the desire that was growing within me to finally give pen to my thoughts. I decided that in order to be successful, I would need to find a project that fit certain criteria. First, I would have to feel passionately enough about the subject on which I would write to be motivated to sacrifice my highly valuable free time. Second, I needed to write on a subject upon which I had some basis of understanding and experience (I could hardly compose witty or insightful messages about quantum physics, as I know absolutely nothing about the subject - I'm not even sure I spelled it correctly!), but about which I could explore in greater depth. Third, I wanted my project to be fulfilling in and of itself, as opposed to relying on the accolades of others to derive a feeling of accomplishment. Fourth, I wanted to write on a subject that might have the potential to help others. (Do you see my dilemma? I wanted to find a writing project that would be fulfilling to me even if noone else read and appreciated it, but that had the potential to positively impact others if they did read it.) Recently I have discovered a subject that I believe fits all of my criteria. That subject is, living an outward focused life. I find it interesting that humans by nature are inward focused - selfish, but derive the greatest joy from being outward focused - selfless. With this project I want to explore why it is that we tend toward selfishness, why it is that we feel such joy when we overcome selfishness and put our focus on others, and most importantly, how we can overcome our selfish tendencies and become more outward focused. In an effort to not let my perfectionism become debilitating to me in this process, I am choosing to not follow any certain organization or pattern. I will post on a variety of topics that all fit under the umbrella of living an outward focused life. I invite you to provide feedback. If you agree with something I write, disagree with it, find it particularly helpful - please share your thoughts with me. Per my criteria, this is not a subject on which I consider myself an expert. I have some foundation of understanding, but for the most part, this is more than a writing project, it is a quest for achieving an even greater goal of living a more outward focused life.